Why does my ex want to be friends? 12 reasons to find out the truth - HeTexted (2023)

When an ex wants to be friends with you, that can be both a good sign and a bad sign. Your approach is not always positive.

Staying friends is a very difficult thing to do if the breakup was bad and youi still have feelings for your ex.

Simply keeping in touch during this situation will leave you more confused and stuck.

You just can't stop thinking about it and wondering why an ex wants to be friends and not fix the relationship.

Immediately, you start to wonder what their purpose is and how often they will contact you.

The most important thing to do is be realistic and not romanticize your ex in this case.

The moment you idealize, you miss the main point.

To control this situation,here are 12 reasons an ex wants to be friends?

1. They want to fix the relationship

When an ex wants to mend a relationship, sometimes they may want to start over as friends.

If you don't want to run out and start a relationship, I urge you to stay friends.

In this way you will interact, but less than usual.

He doesn't want to cut all ties or keep in touch with you all the time unless nurtured.

It's their way of conveying that they don't want to lose you forever.

In this case, they will tell you their limits, but they will assure you that they will be on your side.

They will put your romantic feelings on hold first and look at your characteristics as a human being.

2. They feel guilty and don't want to cut contact

Someone may feel guilty and this feeling will haunt you. To alleviate this feeling, your ex will want to be friends.

Being on good terms will facilitate yourpost-breakup anxiety and loneliness, and decrease the amount of guilt.

Otherwise, if you used the no contact rule, your grieving process would take longer.

To understand your post-breakup psychology, consider getting help from relationship coaches.

the coaches ofrelationship herothis will help you understand in parts the psychology behind your actions.

The first session is free where they will ask you some questions and you will learn more about the breakup.

You will be able to tell if your ex wants to be friends to fill his void or for some other reason.

This will be done after the trainers have come up with a plan specific to your situation.

3. They want the best of both worlds.

It all depends on your ex's personality, not all exes want to be friends for the same reason.

If an ex breaks up with you but still wants to be friends with you, they might want to be friends with you.

They just want to keep you as an option if other relationships don't work for them.

They want to keep you as a second choice, keeping their dating options open.

At first, it might be harder to tell, but in time you'll recognize the signs.

• They will only text during the night and from time to time;

• They won't be interested in your well-being or whether you're doing well;

• You will only find yourself on their terms;

4. They need emotional support

When an ex still needs your emotional support and validation, they'll keep an eye on you.

They want your emotional support and validation and don't want to release it on others.

someone with low self esteemand a narcissistic ex would need your emotional support to feel good.

They are aware of the stages of breaking up and don't want to suffer alone.

They want to keep you hanging just so they can't let you move on either.

In this case, they don't want to date you either, but just want to make sure you're there.

5. They can't leave the relationship

When your ex wants you to stay friends, it's just an emotional roller coaster.

Especially when they want to be friends just because they're used to being with you.

After a breakup, it is difficult for someone to move on and get into another relationship.

As a study saysan ex will be afraid to be alone after the breakupbecause they are afraid of being single.

It's hard for them to adjust to something new as they are still emotionally invested in you.

On the other hand, if your ex still idealizes your relationship, he or she will want to stay friends with you.

They think that's the only way the relationship will work again without working on its flaws first.

6. They miss their old selves

One of the reasons an ex asks you to stay friends is because he feels like he's in his prime.

If you made your ex feel confident, lovable, and wanted, they'll want to stay friends.

They will want to do this because they are driven by nostalgia and melancholy.

Especially if they initiated the separation and now realize its worth.

In that case, they can try to correct the error a little and find comfort.

7. He still has feelings for you

If an ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend wants to be friends, it's a good sign if they want to mend their relationship with you.

If so, they still have unresolved romantic feelings.

They want to continue communicating with you and may later turn this friendship into a relationship.

For example, when he asks to be friends, he is persistent in his communication.

• he keepsstalking you;

• He will take care of you;

• He will continue to communicate all the time respecting your limits;

• He will only be interested in positively impacting you;

It's about creating a respectful and secure aura for yourself that can regain your trust and make the relationship work.

8. They don't want to look bad

When your ex wants to be friends, it doesn't mean he wants more than friendship.

It depends on their personality and how they feel about you after the breakup.

If your ex has lost his feelings for you, he wants to stay friends just to have a peaceful breakup.

Now, that doesn't mean they're going to communicate with you on a daily basis. Perhaps they never initiate any conversations.

Therefore, this does not mean that you will be blocked or muted.

They just ended the relationship and don't want to interact with you in any way.

9. They were onesenior partner

A controlling partner wants us to be friends after the breakup, just to keep an eye on you.

In this situation, they act as if the relationship is not over yet.

They act like they are still your partner and justify themselves after that.

With a controlling partner, maintaining the friendship is quite difficult because you don't get a chance to set boundaries.

~They will want to know who you date and what you do.

~ They keep texting or calling you constantly for no particular reason.

~ They will try to “accidentally” find you everywhere.

~ They will try to hang out with you in groups.

All this is done to keep an eye on you and not let you go. Everything is made to your own specific needs.

10. They were pressured by their peers to go out together.

When your ex breaks up with you but wants to be friends, he thinks it's better to remain a friend than a lover.

If you didn't have strong feelings for each other early on, he or she will want to be friends.

This means they don't want to lose your friendship even if they don't have feelings for you anymore.

When you first decided to date, you may have felt lonely, desperate, or just wanted to date.

Therefore, this relationship could have turned into a friendship without romantic feelings.

This does not mean that after this experience, an ex will want to stay friends.

It depends on their personality and how they feel about you.

11. They want revenge

This reason may be present in some cases. Usually when an ex is narcissistic they want to feel how they feel.

Whether they are the dumper or the dumpee makes no difference.

They just want you to have the same miserable experience they are having.

Their approach might be friendly and you won't be able to tell what's going on.

Along the way, you'll start to wonderif you should stay friends with your exDo not.

There will be so many red flags and mixed signals that negatively affect you.

12. You have mutual responsibilities

If an ex-married person wants to be friends, he will do so out of mutual responsibilities.

They will do this to create a safe and happy environment for their children.

That way, you won't have fights or romantic feelings that would be inappropriate.

If you also have business opportunities together, an ex would want to stay friends just to talk without fighting.

In this situation, your ex will be distant and will not prolong conversations.

Is it normal for ex to be friends?

There's nothing wrong with remaining friends as long as there are no romantic feelings involved.

Also, what will define the answer to this question is your ex's other partner.

~If they are the jealous type, even if there are no romantic feelings towards your ex, the friendship will be difficult.

In this situation, it's best to take a step back and focus on your life.

If they continue to solve this problem on their own, continuing their friendship will not be bad.

~It's OK to remain friends with an ex if they've already set boundaries.

If you're not emotionally attached and check in every now and then, that's fine.

This includes how much time you spend together and what kind of information you share.

~If they don't impede your personal growth and don't negatively impact you, that's fine.

An ex who wants to control your life romantically even after the breakup cannot be your friend.

A friend should be there to support you or just maintain positive communication.

~If your ex wants to be friends but you still have feelings for him, it's hard to maintain a friendship.

In this situation, maintaining a friendship will prolong the pain of the breakup.

You will be trapped in a dark bubble and unable to let go of the past.

It's better to find out your feelings before agreeing to be friends.

What to do when your ex wants to be your friend?

When an ex wants to be your friend, the first thing to notice is how that friendship will benefit you.

I understand that after the breakup you want to keep in touch with your ex.

You do this because you still have feelings for them or you just want to enjoy their friendship.

Before making that decision, here are some things to consider:

1.Take some time alone to reflect.

Before giving an instant answer, you need to slow down and take your time.

This doesn't mean you have to give them an immediate response or you'll lose them forever.

Balance things out and see how you feel without and with their presence in your life.

2.Don't agree to be friends because you want toregret your decision.

It's normal to feel hurt and unwanted after a breakup. This can lead you to do the bare minimum and even become friends with your ex.

If this experience negatively impacts you, don't do it.

Manipulating your ex's feelings because youI want to get them back, will leave you hurt.

3. If you are already in another relationship, check how this situation affects them too.

Most of the time, you can forget that there is a third person involved in this situation.

If your ex doesn't think you should continue this friendship, ask him why.

Check why this makes them uncomfortable and what you would do to balance this situation.

So if your ex just wants you to be friends with no romantic feelings involved, check into the issue with your current partner.

Most of the time they don't want you to be friends with their ex because of their jealousy and insecurity type.

4.If your ex wants to be friends but you don't let him know.Don't fantasize about them or give too many explanations.

Just say how you feel and why you think this friendship won't be right for you.

Do not hesitate to have a precise and brief answer to define the continuity of your relationship.

5.If you were in a previous unpleasant relationship and you both fell in love, cut all contact.

Only then can you step out of the past,heal from separationand look forward.

Does my ex want me back or just want to be friends?

There is a fine line between whether your ex just wants to be friends or wants you back.

You will be able to make a difference according to his behavior towards you.

If an ex wants you back, he will be persistent to win your heart and attention once again.

Your behavior will be more romantic than friendly.

When an ex wants to be just a friend, he will have his limits too.

• They will contact you from time to time and rarely initiate conversations.

• Their conversations will be simple and they won't share much about their romantic life.

• They are careful with their language and don't flirt with you.

• They are aloof and don't try to impress you or get your attention.

Whereas, when an ex wants you back, he tries to show you how much he's changed.

• They flirt with you to some extent and want to make you feel special.

• They strike up conversations and don't spend a lot of time communicating with you.

• They try to prolong conversations.

• They get jealous of you.

• They keep you up to date on their life.

• They keep reminiscing about their past relationship.

There are those little things that make all the difference in this situation.

If your ex wants to be friends, what does that mean?

If an ex wants to be friends, wants to enjoy your friendship, hasn't gotten over the breakup, or wants revenge.

They do this because of their desires, attachment style, and personality traits.

To be more specific, they have a post-breakup void they need to fill.

There is nothing wrong with staying friends with an ex only if there are no romantic feelings involved.

When an ex goes after everything being a friend despite the friendship, it will affect you negatively.

On the other hand, remaining friends after No Contact is more likely to lead to a mended relationship.

love and hugs,

calisto adams